I am jealous.
I am jealous of my friends who have an awesome opportunity to serve at camps this summer.
I am jealous because I miss being with kids and getting to share the love of God with them. Sure, as a lifeguard, I’m with kids constantly–but I tell them what to do. I am so blessed to be here at Shocco and I have made new friends, created fun memories, and I’m rocking the coolest tan lines you’ll ever see, but I’m not a camp counselor.
It has taken a few weeks and a question from my good friend who is discipling me to break me down. I was told to take my Myers-Briggs test to find out my personality [I’m an ENFJ]. I took the test then I was told to answer four questions: On my personality profile, what stands out and best describes me? What is something in my personality profile that I disagree with? What is something that I wish wasn’t true? What is my greatest challenge in listening and obeying God?
Man, that last question hit home. In my profile, it said that I get excited about possibilities for the future, but may become easily bored and restless with the present. Wow is that true. I am already planning what I’m wearing to Auburn football games, my plans for Christmas break, and even what I’m going to wear for my education program interview. I’m so caught up in what is going to happen and God’s plan for my life/future rather than focusing on where He has me now.
I’m frustrated because I am not directly involved in the lives of kids who go to camp to seek after God.
But it’s not about me. It’s never about me. It’s about the glory of God. It’s about His plan and how it is FAR GREATER than any I can try to make for myself.
Right now, it is the Lord’s plan to have me here at Shocco. To be a lifeguard and to do change outs. I was so frustrated because it’s not about me and what I am doing. I was comparing myself to my friends and thinking that what I do is not making an impact for the Kingdom. But I was wrong.
I am here to watch over kids/adults/water-lovers at the pool and the lake so that they can return home healthy and safely.
I am here to clean [NASTY] rooms for the people who come into Shocco so that they can focus on the Lord.
I am in the background so that the leaders that the Lord has placed in the lives of these kids can fully focus on investing in them.
I am the one who prepares the soil so that others can come and plant seeds, water the plant, prune it, and harvest it.
The Lord has me here at Shocco to make sure those precious lives are able to leave the water safely so that they can go on and grow in their relationship with Christ. He has me here to clean the rooms of those who are coming so they have a nice, clean place to stay. I am here serving the Lord in a different way.
If I wasn’t at Shocco, I wouldn’t have this amazing opportunity to be able to go and serve in Haiti [which is an answered prayer that I had been praying about since January, PRAISE BE TO GOD!!!]. I wouldn’t have made beautiful friendships that are focused and surrounded around the Lord. I wouldn’t have been broken down before the Lord so that He would show me there are many ways to serve Him. I don’t have to be on the forefront–even though I would LOVE to be a counselor.
The Lord has taught me to trust in His plan and to focus on what He has me here to do right now.
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him…Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters” Colossians 3:17, 23
p.s. the picture is from Pulpit rock at Mt. Cheaha and I really like it because it is so beautiful and God’s creation never ceases to amaze me