when you’re the “good girl”

So it’s been a while since my last post and oh man has a lot happened. First off, all glory to God cause I was accepted into Auburn’s Elementary Education program!! WOOT WOOT. That was seriously all the Lord and I couldn’t have done it on my own. I also know exactly where I’m living and who I’m living with next year and I’m PUMPED!! The Lord has had his hand over me throughout this semester and carried me the entire way. I also have an awesome discipler/mentor/person who eats Momma G’s nachos every week with me while we study James and that has been so good.

It’s so crazy that sophomore year is almost over and to see how much I’ve grown. This year has been full of joy, heartache, confusion, waiting, and being content. I am so thankful for where God has placed me and even through the difficult times, I can lean on Him and praise Him!

Recently I’ve been just sitting and reflecting on my life and I noticed that I was never a difficult child to raise. Sure I did have a sassy mouth on me, but I never went out and partied. I was always on time for curfew. I never snuck out. I never drank. I was always hanging out with my friends who were also believers.

I was always “the good little church girl.”

I noticed that I was not happy with the fact that I wasn’t rebellious. I don’t have any crazy stories nor do I have a great turning point in my testimony. I still don’t do crazy things–unless if you call eating dessert for dinner and watching Fixer Upper crazy–which you probably don’t. I’ve also spent my college spring breaks to go to Port St. Joe and Apalachicola to do ministry. I’ve never been to a bar and I’ve never been to a party (like the kinds where there’s drinks and unruly activities–now it makes sense because I’m basically an old lady LOL).

I’m STILL “the good little church girl.”

I often wonder….”When people hear my testimony, are they impacted? Do they see the gospel in spite of my ‘good behavior’?”

The enemy has filled my mind recently with lies that aren’t true, but I can’t help but listen and believe them because he has me convinced so well that they’re true. I’ve been a slave to my own thoughts of how “I’m not good enough” or that “I’m much better off than they are.”

But, I’ve found truth. Isaiah 43 especially! Each part of your testimony (or story) is so important. I can see how the Lord was working in different parts of my life, but I still don’t exactly know what He is doing now. I’m thankful that the Lord has revealed Himself to me quickly in certain situations–because I know that I would not be where I am today if He hadn’t. I am also thankful that He chooses to wait because that requires faith. Faith in God and His perfect plan–even though I am not very happy with part of the plan right now, but I know that God is shaping me into the woman that He has created me to be.

22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24

10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9

But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
    Cush[a] and Seba in your stead.
Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
    and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,
    nations in exchange for your life.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
    I will bring your children from the east
    and gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
    and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring my sons from afar
    and my daughters from the ends of the earth—
everyone who is called by my name,
    whom I created for my glory,
    whom I formed and made.”

Lead out those who have eyes but are blind,
    who have ears but are deaf.
All the nations gather together
    and the peoples assemble.
Which of their gods foretold this
    and proclaimed to us the former things?
Let them bring in their witnesses to prove they were right,
    so that others may hear and say, “It is true.”
10 “You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord,
    “and my servant whom I have chosen,
so that you may know and believe me
    and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
    nor will there be one after me.
11 I, even I, am the Lord,
    and apart from me there is no savior.
12 I have revealed and saved and proclaimed—
    I, and not some foreign god among you.
You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “that I am God.
13     Yes, and from ancient days I am he.
No one can deliver out of my hand.
    When I act, who can reverse it?”
Isaiah 43

So if you’re like me and feel like you don’t measure up, go to God’s Word! Be still with Him and praise Him for who He is and what He’s done.

 

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